Recently, it was brought to my attention that there was a certain vicious rumor circling about me in one of the social circles that I am part of. I was hurt and injured that anyone would believe such a thing about me. It defied the very essence of who I am. I tried to take it with a grain of salt and thought of the reasons that people feel a need to start a rumor.
Often it is due to a miscommunication or an ignorance of fact. Other times rumors are started purely from jealousy, hurt and spite. I try to avoid rumors, although I am far from perfect. I also try to be honest and straightforward with everyone. Sometimes that can be taken the wrong way, but I prefer that to the hurt that can be caused by misinterpreting and relaying incorrect information.
Well, I tried to get to the bottom of this rumor. I had my suspicious, of course, but no conclusive evidence linking a particular person to this rumor. I was advised by a wise friend to just try and let it go. The rumor would fade, as most rumors do. I have tried to do this, but even though this lie was not particularly widespread, it was still being tossed in the wind like the proverbial bag of feathers, never to be completely regathered.
I couldn't get the thought of that out of my mind. It even affected how I treated one of my best friends who tried to post an amazingly sweet and beautiful post on my profile as a tribute to me and my friendship with him. All I could see was how someone could take this post another way. I did not think about how hurtful this interpretation of his post would be to him. He had put a lot of thought and effort into his post (now taken down), and I belittled it without meaning to. Why would I do this? Why would I let some stupid little rumor affect me this way? The conclusion that I have come to is because it drags my name through the mud.
Juliet asks the question, "What is in a name?" in William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet." "that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Sorry, Shakespeare, but I beg to disagree. Our name is who we are and how we are viewed and defined. A rose, not named a rose may smell as sweet, but it would
not be a rose. A name is just a word until it is assigned, and then
we define it; it becomes who we are. Past history, especially Biblical, illustrates the importance of a name perfectly. In the old testament, in the story of Ruth, Naomi's name means pleasant. She lives in the land of her husband with her sons who eventually pass away and she is faced with much sorrow. When Naomi and Ruth return to her homeland and are greeted, Naomi informs them that her name is no longer Naomi. It is Mara, which means sorrow and bitterness.
I am beginning to wonder if I should change my name. I have worked hard for my name to be what it is and to have it so undeservedly tarnished seems extremely unfair to me. I do realize, however, that no matter who I am and how I act there will be someone who doesn't understand me or for some reason or another feels that they need to lash out. It is not something I can control. I can, however, control the value that I give to other people and their names. In fact, that has recently gained importance at the top of my list of goals. I hope that maybe someone who has read this makes it their priority too. The pain that rumors cause other people are not worth the short-lived exhilaration of spreading them.
