List Kick

Lately I have been on a list kick. I used to make them all the time (and I am not just talking about the different lists of things to do every day). I figure that since I am on a kick, I might as well continue. Here is my list of things that I love about Spring:

10. The first day that you can drive around blaring music with the car windows down.

9. Opening all the windows in the house to air the mustiness of winter out.

8. The fact that it is transition weather. I love all transition weather...I guess I love most transitions.

7. All the dirty snow finally melts away.

6. Everyone finally takes down their Christmas lights that haven't been lit since New Years.

5. The promise of summer, swimming pools and wakeboarding.

4. The smell of fresh foliage and regrowth. Not so much the mink farms that are near our house.

3. Going on walks with Todd and not feeling like I'm freezing my bajijis off.

2. Laying in the sun that comes in through the windows and reading a book.

and the number 1 reason that I love spring is:

1. Pastel covered Peanut M&Ms emerge in every grocery store. Mmmm...pink Peanut M&Ms.

Resume

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Top 5 Reasons...

...of why NOT to accept every job that you are offered.

5. During your interview he says, "I can't require that you never get pregnant and have kids, but..."
4. He never really ever asked you any questions or let you talk during the interview...at all.
3. He actually seems turned on when you reach the frustrated state where you are willing to tell him that he is wrong.
2. He strings out his hiring decision over the course of a couple of weeks...however, tells you to call him in a day and then in a couple more days and then after the weekend, and the next day...and even after talking to him all these different times, you really haven't gotten a word in edgewise.

and the number one reason of why not to accept every job that you are offered...

1. You overhear him telling one of his employees that she needs to go to her doctor and request to speak to a counselor so that the counselor can help her get over the fact that she doesn't like to ask her boss questions. Hmmm....seriously?

So, I am still jobless. If anyone knows of anything, let me know.

The Many Stages of Unemployment

We often learn or hear about the many stages of grief that an individual will go through during times of loss and hardship; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Well, here are the 6 stages of unemployment:

1. Disbelief- Seriously, how could I not be a valuable enough employee for my company to keep, even if they did downsize to less than half their original size. Or if you recently graduated like myself...I just paid how much for my education and I haven't been offered a killer job, yet?

2. Recharge- Ok, ok...I've saved a little bit of money. I'll be alright. I can use a little time off to sleep in and do all of the projects that I have been putting off. Maybe I'll watch a bit of TV.

3. Laziness- Wait, what projects did I leave undone? I'm pretty sure that another rerun episode of Seinfeld is on. I'll do it later...and later...Whoops, let me wipe these potato chip crumbs off of my chest (or newly developed beer belly if you are a dude).

4. Depression- Wow, I'm pretty sure that I have officially received more rejection letters than the number of resumes I sent out. Nobody wants me. Nobody loves me. I'm not even getting out of my pajamas today. What is the use.

5. Insanity and Madness- Another resume! I must send out another 50 resumes before the day has ended! I need a job. Why the dirty doesn't anyone want me?! I am freaking fantastic. Can't they tell?

and finally...

6. Acceptance- Well, I will get a job when I get a job and in the meantime I will just do what I need to do to stay afloat. I no longer fit in my interview suit due to inactivity and potato chips, ice cream, peanut butter in my ice cream and other comfort foods, but that is ok, because nobody wants me anyway.

These stages are a natural part of the unemployment process and we suggest that you support your loved ones as they phase through joblessness by making certain that they always have plenty of potato chips, ice cream and peanut butter in their homes. And please...we ask you to always let them know when they have gone too long without a shower. We all need to do our part in the fight against air and scent pollution.

For those of you who are interested in hearing about my latest job interview at the Reverse Logistics Conference down in Las Vegas...well, this is the longest interview of my life. There is still a little indecision, but I have been told that I am currently their best option...by far. I'll let you know when I know. You may hear me singing in the streets if it is a yes. I'll be singing the Hallelujah Chorus.

Scream

So, random...in the wee hours of the morning my husband and I were awoken by a loud, oh-my-gosh-I'm-about-to-get-murdered ear piercing scream.

It was me.

No clue why. No bad dreams, just the cat in the shadows. Random.